Sunday, July 14, 2013

A Quiet Place to Rest

I am starting here again, for reals. While all the recent traffic on Xanga has been quite exciting, it is also a bit overwhelming, especially if I get discouraging comments. I don't need someone to tell me why it won't work because I already tell myself that all the time.

I hope I don't get into the trap of doing nothing, except spending all day online, these next two weeks. I'll need to force myself to go outside and explore my surroundings, and try to apply for jobs. I'm just feeling so overwhelmed I don't know where to begin, especially since I still have my thesis lingering back there.

These are some things I have been and will need to continue repeating to myself:
  • It's my life!
  • No Risk = No Reward
I discovered another voice mail on my phone this morning. Once again it was my mom. She was asking me to finish up my thesis because that would be the way to save money. This year I can do what I want. Then next year she will go with me to Ohio and stay with me for all four years. I think she wants to get away from my dad.

It makes me sad that I can't communicate with her. I'm afraid of calling because if my dad is there, he might listen in. My mom doesn't have her own email address. Even writing a letter won't work because my dad opens other people's mail without their permission. I was afraid that she would still be siding with my dad, but it seems like she might not be, or at least she is feeling conflicted.

Still, I think for the time being, it's better for me to not get in touch with my parents unless I have good news, unless I can show them that I have accomplished something on my own.

2 comments:

  1. I hope things get better. People are always negative and in many cases I am too but I always try and see the silver lining where applicable.

    Sorry it's so hard to communicate with your mother. I can't imagine what your mother must feel not having a say or having to comply. But, a mother's support is definitely something we as children need. After all, mother is usually the nurturer as must as sometimes she may agree with dad. Hope things get better. Cheer up! And while I can I'll be commenting. I was on xanga too pinktiger335. and here I'm pinktiger335.blogspot.com I just don't know how to follow or do much but it makes me feel better there's someone else here.

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    Replies
    1. Hi Reyna, it's good to see you here. I think I figured out how to make it possible to reply to comments, but I'm still not sure you'll see this. I hope you know that I am grateful for your kind words.

      I think the way to follow a blog is from your dashboard, under "Reading List" there's a button that says "Add."

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